Elrond Goes Crazy
by Captain Pagie
Summary: Pretty self-explanatory. Elrond went crazy and locked the entire Fellowship in a room. Pretty funny, actually.


Yuletide Conversations

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with the Lord of the Rings, unless you count the ransom Trisher will have to pay to get back her blue notebook, which I am going to steal, and it has tons of LotR things in it. Otherwise, no I am not making a profit. Oh by the way, 'will have' is future perfect tense. Or something likes that.

* * *

Yuletide Conversations

* * *

'That crazy elf' thought Gandalf.

Elrond had locked them in a room the day before they were leaving. He said it was for them to get to know each other better. Most likely, just to keep Arwen away from Aragorn, locking everyone else up, this was just an added bonus.

'That worked out well,' thought Gandalf observing the room. Boromir was totally tuning out everything, Aragorn sitting and thinking, the hobbits talking amongst themselves, Gimli shining his axe and looking threateningly at Legolas, and Legolas was staring right back at Gimli.

Actually, you could count it as a staring contest.

"Friends," said Gandalf "We have been put in here to meet and talk to each other, and now, everyone is keeping to themselves. Be happy, for tonight is also Yuletide's Eve."

Everyone stared blankly at Gandalf.

"Why don't we talk about our families?" suggested Gandalf, who instantly regretted that choice.

"All right," said Gimli "My father was locked up by elves in Mirkwood, and I am now locked in here."

"Only because Lord Elrond has lost his mind." Said Legolas "And my father locked you up, because you would not give him an answer to where you were going."

"So, that was your father, eh?" Gimli said in a low growl

"What do you mean Ada's lost his mind?" said Aragorn

"He has locked us in a room Estel!"

They continued to yell at each other in elvish.

Boromir still stared on blankly.

Gandalf eventually got Legolas and Aragorn to sit down.

"I'll go!" said Pippin "My dad's the Thain, and I'm going to be Thain, though I don't want to, I have three older sisters, one's married, and has a little girl, and I'm an uncle. My name's actually Peregrin, but people only call me that when they're mad at me. Merry's my cousin, and so's Frodo." And with that, Pippin sat back down.

"I do not think I caught a word of what he just said." Said Boromir

"I said –," Pippin started, but was cut off by Merry.

"No one cares, Pip. Really. I mean that in a nice way."

"What's a Thain?" inquired Legolas

"A Thain is sort of like the King of the Shire." Said Frodo

"We tried to teach Pippin to be a little gentleman, but it didn't work. It's those Tooks." Said Merry

"Like you have any room to talk Merry Brandybuck." Said Frodo, putting emphasis on Brandybuck.

"You grew up in Brandy Hall as well Frodo."

"I know, but I at least straightened out when I became an adult."

Merry rolled his eyes "And you became an absolute pain because of it."

Frodo just sighed at Merry.

"Merry is going to be the Master of Buckland someday, but I'm afraid any child that grew up in Brandy Hall, or in Tookland, I included, were raised as ruffians."

"And little thieves." Added Gandalf

"Thieves?" said Gimli "So that's why they picked a hobbit, natural thieves, are ye?"

"Oh yes," said Pippin "Frodo here, was the worst."

"I am not proud of the little thief I used to be."

"But we are!" said Merry and Pippin

Sam just shook his head.

"This is Sam," volunteered Pippin "He's Frodo's gardener, he doesn't say much. His dad's the Gaffer, and he and his dad are the absolute best gardeners, much better than my sister, Pearl."

Sam blushed and shook his head.

"I'm not the best gardener, Mr. Pippin."

"Of course you are Sam!" said Frodo "Bilbo used to say the only gardens he's seen were made by elves."

Sam just continued to blush and shake his head.

Pippin marched up to Boromir.

"You go next." He said

"Me?" said Boromir "Why me?"  
"Because I don't know who you are, and you're a big person."

"Big person?"

"Quit Stalling." Said Pippin "We told you about us, so it's your turn."

"Where should I begin?"

"Preferably from the beginning." Said Merry

Boromir sighed "What would the beginning be?"

"Parents, brothers, sisters." Said Frodo

"Well, my mother died when I was ten, and my brother Faramir was five, my father is the Steward of Gondor."

"You have a brother?"

"Yes, Faramir, he's a Ranger from Ithilien."

"He's a Ranger, just like you, Strider!" said Pippin

"Anything else we should know?" asked Merry

"No?"

"Did you and your brother ever get in trouble?"

"All the time, though I'm afraid, most of the time Faramir was on the receiving end of it."

"What do you mean?"

"One time, I accidentally dislocated his elbow."

"Oh, I see, like when Merry hit me with an apple we stole, and I got a bump on my head."

"Something like that.

"So, you and your brother are close?"

"Very."

"That's good." Said Frodo

"Okay, Strider, your next!" declared Pippin

"Why me?"

"Because," said Merry "We're on the subject of Rangers, seeing Boromir's brother is one, and you know Legolas."

"And you called Lord Elrond your Ada." Said Frodo

"What's that mean Frodo?" asked Pippin

"Father."

"Oh."

"Well, my father was killed when I was three, my mother was taken to Rivendell by Elladan and Elrohir, and Lord Elrond raised me as his own son."

"Doesn't anyone have a happy story?" asked Pippin

"What do you mean?" asked Legolas

"Well, Boromir's mother died, Aragorn's father died, does anyone have a story that has no death?"

"I live in Mirkwood, no brothers or sisters; I grew up with Elladan and Elrohir. I have for many years protected Mirkwood, and its borders."

"Okay, does anyone have a story with no death, and is interesting?" said Pippin

"Pippin! That's rude. Legolas is a Prince."

"Geez, and your dad makes you do that?"

Everyone just rolled their eyes at Pippin.

"What about you Gimli?" asked Frodo, conversationally.

"Nothing to tell."

"Everyone has a story."

"Not me, I grew up in the Lonely Mountain, and came here with my father. My life story."

"Geez, that was as bad as Legolas's." remarked Pippin, who was hit in the arm by Merry.

"Be nice Pippin!"

"Is that everyone?"

"Everyone but Gandalf."

They all turned to Gandalf, when all of a sudden the door clicked, and there was a voice on the other side of the door

"You are free to go! Well, actually, you might want to leave, we had to steal these keys from Elrond, we'll make it look like you escaped."

The door swung open, and there was Erestor and Glorifindel.

Everyone walked out of the room.

"What do we do know?" asked Pippin

"I guess we leave." Said Aragorn

"Okay, let's go." Said Boromir

So the Fellowship left Rivendell, and started their journey. But not before they had had a Yuletide Conversation.


End file.
